Post by jaysmith on Jan 19, 2010 20:28:37 GMT -5
DREW I think I've sussed it.
SHIVA Sussed what?
DREW The transmissions are clearly Kluthorian in origin.
SHIVA Kluthorian. Alien?
DREW No. Transdimensional beings. They occupy Earth on a slightly different molecular frequency.
SHIVA Oh. That's much more reasonable, Doctor. How do you know it's the Luthorians and not, say, the alternate Earth where what you say makes a lick of fuckin' sense?
DREW KLU-thorians. They follow the pattern. Kluthorian messages follow the same pattern. They write sentences in nine worlds of four sounds each. No more, no less. We have examples of Kluthorian text and compare them to the digital transmissions. But we still have to work out what these images mean. So we play a game I like to call Kluth Klues! (singing) You gotta find a green dot, that's the first clue...you put it in the pixelmap for KLUTHkloooz KLUTHklooz...you find another green dot, that's the second clue...youbetchadupa four times and BANG... Kluthklooz...then we throw it in to photoshop and think, think...thiiiink. Cuz when we use our minds and take a step out of time, then the Klu-thor-i-ans...they might not eat our brains....
SHIVA Bravo, Doctor. You made sense for an impressive three seconds. I think it's time we give you your Thorazine now.
DREW Nonono...wait...there's more...without singing, I promise. So we've got this thing, a series of signals, translated to a 2-dimensional space from a 4-dimensional source...because the ONLY way we can understand it is if we...
SHIVA (sigh) Choose your words carefully because you'll spend your last 30 seconds conscious wondering if you'll wake up in a bed or hanging from a meat hook over an Eater corral.
DREW Yes. Listen. Follow along. If we map the signal to a 600x600 pixel space, Each symbol of the Kluthorian language appears like a tic-tac-toe board...but more like Hollywood Squares because each box contains a character...some characters are saltier than others, if you get my meaning. Here's a checkerbox sentence form. In there are nine words, right? Each word is four dots...at first we thought the dots were just randomly inserted, but no - there are always four dark green dots in roughly each of the four corners...note I said ROUGHLY. See how each dot is slightly off-center in one direction or another - that's the key to their language. The precise location of each dot within the quadrant of the box spells the word IN that box. So every word in the Kluthorian language has four letters. But it's often hard for the human eye to detect the difference in letters, much like figuring out how a homophonic or heteronymic word is used, we have to place these boxes in context with other words. I use this computer to map - to the PIXEL - where each dot rests in its quadrant.
SHIVA (flat) Oh...pretty pictures. What does it mean?
DREW Working on it. Working on it...AHH! The computer comes back with ding-a-ling-a-dong!
SHIVA I cannot wait.
DREW (giggles) Neither can I...so...here's the message... first line: BALL MAN RUN. Second line: SQUIRT GRIN FOX. Last line: HAM TAR FLICK.
SHIVA Whew. I'm so glad you continue to consume our resources to earn us such fantastic results.
DREW Okay-okay...it doesn't make any sense hot off the grill, I know. But it's like those numbers on LOST. They all have some significance...granted in Lost, they use the same numbers and here there are darn near an infinite number of combination possible for words...and only like 100 words in our translation database...but we're getting closer.
SHIVA What's the Kluthorian word for "Fuck"? Not the saxon vulgarity, but the generic expletive.
DREW I cannot process that question. Was it rhetorical or just sardonic?
SHIVA How do you even know what the signal means?
DREW Orgone convergence. I've been talking to them. I go into the Orgone Collector and I think really hard about a word. The transmitter sends the data into the rift and they reply back in that word. So the first word I sent was CAT. I took my kitty into the collector box for ten minutes and thought really hard about him, then came out and SHAZAM. Here's the Kluthorian word for Kitty...or cat... or whatever a cat represents to a Kluthorian . But I went in there once, i thought really hard about being MAD...mad mad mad...and this is what they sent back. See? See?
SHIVA Sussed what?
DREW The transmissions are clearly Kluthorian in origin.
SHIVA Kluthorian. Alien?
DREW No. Transdimensional beings. They occupy Earth on a slightly different molecular frequency.
SHIVA Oh. That's much more reasonable, Doctor. How do you know it's the Luthorians and not, say, the alternate Earth where what you say makes a lick of fuckin' sense?
DREW KLU-thorians. They follow the pattern. Kluthorian messages follow the same pattern. They write sentences in nine worlds of four sounds each. No more, no less. We have examples of Kluthorian text and compare them to the digital transmissions. But we still have to work out what these images mean. So we play a game I like to call Kluth Klues! (singing) You gotta find a green dot, that's the first clue...you put it in the pixelmap for KLUTHkloooz KLUTHklooz...you find another green dot, that's the second clue...youbetchadupa four times and BANG... Kluthklooz...then we throw it in to photoshop and think, think...thiiiink. Cuz when we use our minds and take a step out of time, then the Klu-thor-i-ans...they might not eat our brains....
SHIVA Bravo, Doctor. You made sense for an impressive three seconds. I think it's time we give you your Thorazine now.
DREW Nonono...wait...there's more...without singing, I promise. So we've got this thing, a series of signals, translated to a 2-dimensional space from a 4-dimensional source...because the ONLY way we can understand it is if we...
SHIVA (sigh) Choose your words carefully because you'll spend your last 30 seconds conscious wondering if you'll wake up in a bed or hanging from a meat hook over an Eater corral.
DREW Yes. Listen. Follow along. If we map the signal to a 600x600 pixel space, Each symbol of the Kluthorian language appears like a tic-tac-toe board...but more like Hollywood Squares because each box contains a character...some characters are saltier than others, if you get my meaning. Here's a checkerbox sentence form. In there are nine words, right? Each word is four dots...at first we thought the dots were just randomly inserted, but no - there are always four dark green dots in roughly each of the four corners...note I said ROUGHLY. See how each dot is slightly off-center in one direction or another - that's the key to their language. The precise location of each dot within the quadrant of the box spells the word IN that box. So every word in the Kluthorian language has four letters. But it's often hard for the human eye to detect the difference in letters, much like figuring out how a homophonic or heteronymic word is used, we have to place these boxes in context with other words. I use this computer to map - to the PIXEL - where each dot rests in its quadrant.
SHIVA (flat) Oh...pretty pictures. What does it mean?
DREW Working on it. Working on it...AHH! The computer comes back with ding-a-ling-a-dong!
SHIVA I cannot wait.
DREW (giggles) Neither can I...so...here's the message... first line: BALL MAN RUN. Second line: SQUIRT GRIN FOX. Last line: HAM TAR FLICK.
SHIVA Whew. I'm so glad you continue to consume our resources to earn us such fantastic results.
DREW Okay-okay...it doesn't make any sense hot off the grill, I know. But it's like those numbers on LOST. They all have some significance...granted in Lost, they use the same numbers and here there are darn near an infinite number of combination possible for words...and only like 100 words in our translation database...but we're getting closer.
SHIVA What's the Kluthorian word for "Fuck"? Not the saxon vulgarity, but the generic expletive.
DREW I cannot process that question. Was it rhetorical or just sardonic?
SHIVA How do you even know what the signal means?
DREW Orgone convergence. I've been talking to them. I go into the Orgone Collector and I think really hard about a word. The transmitter sends the data into the rift and they reply back in that word. So the first word I sent was CAT. I took my kitty into the collector box for ten minutes and thought really hard about him, then came out and SHAZAM. Here's the Kluthorian word for Kitty...or cat... or whatever a cat represents to a Kluthorian . But I went in there once, i thought really hard about being MAD...mad mad mad...and this is what they sent back. See? See?